My fake smile, hide my millions tears

i'm just a little girl who wanted to realize my dream ♥
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Everything I Do - I Do It For You

Look into my eyes - you will see 
What you mean to me 
Search your heart - search your soul 
And when you find me there you’ll search no more 

Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for 
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for 
You know it’s true 
Everything I do - I do it for you 

Look into your heart - you will find 
There’s nothin’ there to hide 
Take me as I am - take my life 
I would give it all - I would sacrifice 

Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for 
I can’t help it - there’s nothin’ I want more 
Ya know it’s true 
Everything I do - I do it for you 

There’s no love - like your love 
And no other - could give more love 
There’s nowhere - unless you’re there 
All the time - all the way 

Oh - you can’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for 
I can’t help it - there’s nothin’ I want more 
I would fight for you - I’d lie for you 
Walk the wire for you - ya I’d die for you 

Ya know it’s true 
Everything I do - I do it for you 

..

buat apa lahir kalo akhirnya disuruh pergi..

buat apa pergi kalo akhirnya di suruh mbalik..

buat apa khawatir kalo akhirnya ngga dipeduli’in..

ingin rasanya aku pergi jauh dari dunia ini..

menyendiri..

dan berteriak sampai aku puas..

menangis sampe aku puas..

maybe i will choose born be an orphan dri pda born with parents but, i can’t comfort with my life..

this isn’t the way i life..

i have too much diffrent things in my life with my parents..

i can’t life in this way..

God, help me to solve my problem..

i’m too weak for solve my own problem..

i don’t want make my parents tired..

what i’ve done always wrong in my parents eyes..

i always try do the best..

but i always get the bad..

always wrong, always false..

shit i hate my life..

i’m too tired of my life..

if i can live alone, i will do it..

i will leave my family for long time..

if i ready ,i will come back to my family..

i’m too tired ,really tired..

i want to sleep for long time..

maybe my parents and my family will be happy..

cause i’m not make them tired again..

they don’t spend a lot of money from me..

they don’t spend a lot of money for my health, for my school..

they will be happy, cause they have one son..

he is smart, dilligent and a lot of better than me..

he is good at a lot of area..

he make my parents always proud..

my parents always proud of him..

my parents always tell to everyone if, he is better than me..

but, my oarents always tell to everyone if, i’m so bad..

i don’t have anything to make my parents proud..

i always make my parents ANGRY, SAD !!

God, take my life..

i’m willing..

i’m too tired of my life God.. :(

tumblrtoons:

http://teamcoco.com/moca/gallery/illustration/13337/america-y-all-need-to-watch
Holy Crap guys! Go like my Conan fan art!!!!
I randomly submitted some Conan O’Brien fan art a few days ago and they chose it for their online gallery! You should go “LIKE” it, if you got a couple of seconds to kill!
Thanks! I’d totally appreciate it!
tiredly excited!
<3 :)
-Jeaux
UPDATE: HOLY SHIZ, I JUST MADE THE TUMBLR RADAR!!! AND MY CAPS LOCK IS ON! SORRY! THANKS NEW TUMBLRTOON PAL FOLLOWERS & TUMBLR RADAR GUARDIANS! :)
Updated Update: unreal. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll kindly go and pick up my jaw from the floor now. Many thanks Team Coco!!!

tumblrtoons:

http://teamcoco.com/moca/gallery/illustration/13337/america-y-all-need-to-watch

Holy Crap guys! Go like my Conan fan art!!!!

I randomly submitted some Conan O’Brien fan art a few days ago and they chose it for their online gallery! You should go “LIKE” it, if you got a couple of seconds to kill!

Thanks! I’d totally appreciate it!

tiredly excited!

<3 :)

-Jeaux

UPDATE: HOLY SHIZ, I JUST MADE THE TUMBLR RADAR!!! AND MY CAPS LOCK IS ON! SORRY! THANKS NEW TUMBLRTOON PAL FOLLOWERS & TUMBLR RADAR GUARDIANS! :)

Updated Update: unreal. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll kindly go and pick up my jaw from the floor now. Many thanks Team Coco!!!

OutBound GOLDEN EAGLE CAMP 2 ♡♡

Heyhooo :D
aku mau nulis blog baru !!!! XDD
tentang camp’ku di trawas bareng temen” GOLDEN EAGLE 2 :)
Tak tulis dulu :p
Sorry kalo ad salah :p
haha xD

Friday, 24 June 2011..

Jengjeng ~ xD aku disuruh sama Oka, Cindy A buat ke gereja’ne
Awal”e aku yo takut, soale aku lo ga knal sapa” nde sana —”
Mek knal Cindy C, Oka (itupun ga knal bgt —”) sama si  Cindy C..
Yawes ak brangkat ae :D wkwk
Pas smpe sana kita nunggu smua org dtg dlu..
Smpe jam 7an itu bru kita mulai
dengerno firman dlu trus doa..
trus kita dibentuk kelompok..
aku satu kel sama Nathan, Oka, Cici, sama Fanny..
wala” ga knal kabeh aku —”
knal itu cma sama Oka tok —”
Cici ga bnyk” ngom.. wkwkwk xD
Fanny ma Nathan apa lg —” wkwk..
setelah itu kita disuruh buat yel”e ==” sama nama kelompok..
Nama kelompok’e itu ' RAJAWALI '
pas disuru buat yel”e itu bingung —”
setelah mikir satu ketemu..
trus di suru maju satu”..
Trus ndanki marah sama smua kelompok, soale katane yel”e nda kompak smua, ngga punya karakter..
eh ya, ada 4 kelompok.. STRONG , RAJAWALIARROW, sama SKY
trus ndanki suruh kita buat yel” baru..
Rajawali (kel’ku) ws dapet..
gini yel”e :
Kami pasukan Allah
Gogogogo!!
Rajawali, we fly with God :)
suda slsai smua kita disuruh knalan stu kel sama kel laen’e..
trus ad game lg buat kita nginget nama smua ank” camp itu..
seng salah disuru push up 10x :))
untung aku ga kna salah :D wkwkwk..
suda, kita dngr firman lagi bru pulg..
slsai jam stngh 10, bru pulg..

Sunday, 26 June 2011..

ak brngkt, pas smpe sana blm bnyk yg dtg —”
trnyta ak pny anggota kel bru
nama e donny wkwk..
trus stlh smua dtg, brang” di cek stu”, di suru kluarin smua,
aku ga bawa 2 kaos kaki sama buah
kena disiplin, push up 20 x —”
wkwkwk
trus stlh slesai smua, dngr firman, doa
trus brangkat
ngeengenngeengg nyampek
nd sna mkn mlm dlu
bru dngr firman
stlh itu kita tdur wess

Monday, 27 June 2011..

Morningg :)
Bangun pagi sikat gigi dulu hahaha
trus OR senam” gtu seruu \=D/
stlh slsai mandi dlu
trus kita kumpul lagi buat dngr firman gru
ada pnyembahan aku sempet nangis TT___TT
huaaa :’((
jdi keinget wkwk
trus stlh slsai kita mkn pagi wkwk
trus nglakuin kegiatan lagi aku lupa
stlh slsai mkn siang dongg
hahahaa
trus kita outbound dong :D
seru” bnyk wes outbound’e haha xD
nek inget gtu ngakak” aku
stlh slsai kita di suru mandi
kedinginen aku ga kuat poll
akhir e stlh mandi itu kan kumpul lagi
ak pake 2 jaket smpe an ><
jaket e nathan mb jaketku
thanks pak ketua :p wkwk
trus kita crta” lg gtu kumpul” trus firman
stlh slsai mkn malaam lagee :D wkwk
nah pas slsai mkn mlm qta istirahat lg
ak disuru tdur brg sama komandan soale ak rada skit
trus bgun” di suru jerit mlem men
aku seng kedinginen ws gemeter”
tambah aku wedi tmbh nemen gemeter’e
wkwkwk
prtma yg dipanggil ketuaku dulu —”
nathan
trus cici ( nathan soulmate’s piss :p )
trus rebecca
trus donny
lama itu manggil’e —”
stlh donny itu trus sapa lupa aku
trus ndanki manggil : Venny
nd ati’ku : mati kon wess ><
dag dig dug deg  wes ati ku galau njedog poll
Nathan kluar prtma kali —” kaget aku cek cpet’e
stlh di introgasi sama ndanki
aku brangkat ><
ws tmbh kedinginen aku >< tmbh gemeter ><
pas mw brngkt, ak kan ke lokasi awal
ada donny ga brngkt” —”
akhir’ee aku sek seng brngkt zzz —”
masuk sih biasa” ae
sempet nyemplung sawah aku ><
ireng kabeh conversku wkwk ><
trus pas akhir” kluar
uda smpe lapangan aku
eh ,aku dlu seng nyampe ( cwe pertamax )
si cici ma rebecca ga nyampe” —”
jdiny ak di tenda dwan
trus dtg rebecca sama cici
trus” smua dtg
kita tdur wkwk

Tuesday, 28 June 2011..

Ga enk hri trakhir :’((
pulaangg :’((
aku gamau pulanggg :’(((
jek pgen breng” tau :(
hrus’e 1 minggu sisan ae retret’e ><
wkwkwk..
pagi ya kyk biasa lah OR” gtu
trus mandi, makan
ada pengumuman” gtu
trus makan siang
istirahat gtu
trus sore ada kegiatan seng seru polll ;’)
kita semua ga kel lagi
uda jadi 1 kesatuan
dan kita semua menangin game itu !
HORRRRAAAYYY ~ XD
we’re scream cause we’re the winner
saking seneng e smpe nanges aku >< :’))
kita bangga sama pak ketua kita Flowbert :D
kita y bngga sma smua org wkwk
sueneng wes
trus kita siap” pulg
pas di kantin my lil sist sakit :”(((
si cindy sakit :(
smpe nanges” :’((
jadi’e aku sempet jdi suster’e :)
nyuapin, ambilin minum gtu, tpi seneng aku :’)
isa bntu dE
trus ndanki jga obatin Cindy, trus Steven Junior juga
Tante Valen kasih jaket gtu
aku kmrn digudoi tok ae ><
opo meneh FLOWBERT iku yooo !!
Grr ><
hahahaha xDD
mmmwwwwaaaayyyaakkk ><
trus aku mb ark laki” yo tanding minum teh di kasih minyak kayu putih =))
ngakak aku xD
trus kita doa n pulang
smpe sda ak dijemput y pulang wes :’)


dari retret ini ak seneng poll ><
mskipun ak capek
berat ninggalno retret’e :(
mmaku y smpet ngamuk” mb aku ><
tpi pliss ma ,prcya’o mb aku :(
aku ws gede, bkn baby g ma :(
ada Tuhan nd smping’ku seng bkal nuntun jalan ku, nyertai aku ma :(
mskipun aku tanpa pengawasan ortu :(
buat tante Valen sama ndanki aku mnta maaf klo aku ada salah >< :’((
aku nde sini bner” dpet pelajaran brhrga scara fisik, rohani, mental juga
klo Tuhan ijinin, aku bakal ikut Golden Eagle ke 3 :)
AMIN ><

sekian, thanks and sorry for everything,
Gbu <3<3